So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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