that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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