Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
