the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
one might say we're banned from that church
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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