I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
wow bdsm is so cute
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
