you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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