I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
