The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
