Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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