you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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