ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
