Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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