so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize