I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
