I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
