i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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