But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
