My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize