I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
