This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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