My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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