hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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