Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
