You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
