Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
