and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
