Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
