When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
All I want is dick and wine.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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