Where is the hickey?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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