i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
