If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
