I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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