ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
