Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
