3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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