Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
