I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
