I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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