So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
