just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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