we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
