note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
