Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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