had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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