apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
its not stalking. its research.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
