Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
