Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
