He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
