You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
