i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
