so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
are you so shy because you have an std?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
