I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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