You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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