just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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