My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
