girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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