Me too!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
