..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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