I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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