DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
