i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
