I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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