dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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